One of the biggest economic markets today revolves around preparing for worst-case scenarios. Markets know how easy it is to capitalize off of our fears. With every purchase, we are asked if we’d like to spend a little extra for an extended warranty. In America, large portions of our income pays for health insurance. We insure our cars, homes, businesses, jewelry, pets, trips, collections– if there is an option to insure something, most people will. Furthermore, we’ll add clauses and guarantees to contracts, even where relationships are concerned.
Many of us worry about what will happen if we don’t. We hear horror stories, maybe even had one or two of our own, and we allow fear to caution us.
Delusion of Security
As a collective, we settle cozily into this delusion of security. In financial courage, we pay premiums to ensure that things will work out. Parents encourage children to establish a reliable backup plan before they follow artistic dreams…
We over-plan events, vacations, our calendars, our ventures because a deep-festering fear tells us this is how we maintain control. Since we can’t take out an insurance policy on our schedule that same fear translates to over-planning. Willingly, we wire ourselves to this false narrative that if we do _____________, it will all be ok.
Just like travel insurance can’t stop a disaster from happening, or health insurance itself can’t prevent a crisis, planning for worst-case scenarios doesn’t guarantee we won’t fail.
Being prepared is a good thing. It may include insurance, but being prepared also includes a safety plan. A healthy approach to fear involves facing it. As we do this, we often see that looming thing is merely the amplified voice of a small man, behind the curtain.
Paralyzed by Failure
Ask yourself what you’re afraid of? Look beyond the reactive answers that pop up– those irrational fears we all have. If you’re being honest then it shouldn’t take long for that one horrifying word to whisper itself into your mind: failure.
Many of us are paralyzed by the thought of failing, so much so that it is fear which often stops us from even trying.
Why wouldn’t we be paralyzed? This enormous system we have in place manipulates us to seek coverage and protection on every little thing. We’ve been conditioned to believe that “failing” is the worst that can happen.
Make Failure a Goal
There are many professions and life paths that this avoidance of failure may be ideally suited for, but when it comes to human things such as love, community, and creativity, failure is unavoidable.
It might be safe to argue that within a creative life, failure should be a goal.
How could we possibly learn, while painting, that we love that slightly ashen shade of green-blue if we didn’t accidentally mix the colors?
Would we find a child’s allergy, or learn of the sensitive things which may hurt a lover’s heart if we didn’t make a misstep?
We learn and grow through our mistakes.
If actively entertained, fear of failure leads one to believe they are in control. As artists we should run in the opposite direction of control as fast as we can. In our world, a controlled environment leads to oppression, but it is within the raw sense of freedom where art lives.
Trust As We Create
As creatives, play and imagination are significant elements we rely on. To embark on those things requires a willingness to surrender certain ideas of safety– to take leaps of trust as we create.
This is how we grow and learn, find what is true for us as artists, and what may be better suited for someone else’s journey. By the world’s standard, we may “fail” a lot, but that’s part of the false narrative limiting us. For painters, photographers, performers, storytellers, and dream chasers the misrepresented idea of failure is merely research.
For painters, photographers, performers, storytellers, and dream chasers the misrepresented idea of failure is merely research.
Mae Wagner
Our growth and the strengthening of our craft rely on our willingness to try new approaches and unfamiliar territory. Being “bad” at something simply illustrates an act of courage to try– a growth in the artist’s pursuit of something original.
Intuitively Listen
Find willingness to try something new and then listen intuitively to whether that venture is a fit, or not. In doing this, we will get frustrated sometimes. We will fall, and learn to get back up and keep going. This is how we grow creatively.
Worst case scenario, we laugh about it one day and come out of the adventure with a great story.
Mae Wagner, married her husband in 1994, and became an adoptive mom with three amazing and beautifully resilient (now fully grown) kids.
Mae writes on her blog Rainy Day in May. She listens and collaborates alongside lots of strong and incredible women on her podcast The Rainy Day Collective. Speaking engagements (something she never expected!) have also become a passion, as Mae feels very strongly about connection, relationships and authenticity. She shares photos & microblogs from her life, the good/bad/ugly (but always authentic) on her Instagram.
Mae also freelances in the PR/Entertainment industry, though this is less and less as these other parts of her career grow and grow. Mae is currently a writer, life coach and mentor.
